Q: " This girl I was dating recently broke up with me and I totally didn't see it coming. It was very sudden but she insisted that it was a long time coming and that I should have seen the signs. What am I? A mind reader? For a comfortable relationship like mine to break up it's just ridiculous. I don't think I was doing anything wrong and I had no idea that it was going to happen at all. How can she accuse me of breaking up the relationship just by not knowing when she wouldn't tell me?"
A: " There are many reasons why your relationship would break up. And sometimes, such a thing can be for the best. When you see certain signs, it's actually time to let go and either break off or take a break. But how do you know when it's ok? Here's some advice on how to look out for the signs."
When she is pressuring you to commit, that's when you need a break. The break will be good because it will give you the time you need to figure out if she is the right one for you. Alternatively if you are interested in speeding things up but she isn't then she might need that break, or the both of you could just be incompatible. Either way breaking off the relationship for a short while will give both of you the time you need to figure things out.
When things are getting boring, that's when the relationship is on the rocks. You've figured out a routine but instead of being comforting you are feeling bored and going crazy. Try talking things over but if neither of you are willing to compromise to change your routine then your relationship is over.
When your interest in her has waned, this is a sure sign that the honeymoon period is over. Your initial attraction with each other has worn off and the hard cold facts are starting to sink in that there's more to a relationship than just basic chemistry. How do you know when this has happened? When you no longer think of her when she isn't around or when you think of her you don't get that special feeling anymore. My advice is to try to make an effort to restart the spark that you felt initially . But if that doesn't work out then it maybe a good time for you to break up with her.
When she no longer respects you that is the time to break up with her . A relationship cannot work if you do not have respect for one another's wants and needs. Either find out why this has happened (something you did?) and fix it, or know that it is time for the relationship to be over.
When you are not ready to settle down and you feel that your current relationship is getting a bit too serious, then it is time you sat down and started thinking about what you want. Breaking up your relationship at this point is truly kinder and fairer to her especially if you know that you are not ready to commit.
When your friends tell you that something is wrong and you don't see it, maybe you need to take a step back to evaluate why you're just not totally happy anymore. A relationship should make you happy and if you are suffering more than you are enjoying yourself then my advice is to figure out why. Do you need more time with her? Is she smothering you? It is important to evaluate your relationship from time to time to see if it is heading in the direction that you want.
