Q: " I'm in a real dilemma here because I've been in a relationship with this girl for a short while now. Nothing really serious, sort of a casual dating relationship (with lots of sex) and it's been really good till recently. These last few days she seems to be out of things and I think that we're on the verge of breaking up or calling it quits. So I'm pretty torn about what to do at this point because I never thought of how far this relationship could go because it was mainly about sex anyway. So should I try to fix things and make it up to her somehow by finding out what's wrong? Or should I end the relationship or wait for her to break up with me? "
A: " So you think that your relationship is almost over but you're not sure whether to wait for her to call it quits or to call it quits yourself? The answer is right there in your face my friend. YOU should be the one to end the relationship."
Ending a relationship isn't something you take lightly, that I understand. But having broken up before and having the woman I was dating initiate the break up was terrible. I went from a confident dude to a crushed man. Imagine me, a successful fella suddenly having this woman want to leave him because he wasn't spontaneous enough!
Anyway the point of me telling you this
is to let you know that the breaking up with her wasn't the
one that killed me. It was the fact that I was the one who
got dumped. My self esteem went down and I had a hard time
picking myself up after that, heck I even began to miss her
even though our relationship was in a purely casual. I would
even be bold enough to say that my relationship with her was
mostly based on lust and sex. So if relationships like this
can kill a guy's self confidence imagine how it would be like
for you if she went and ended your relationship?
No matter how high you're flying in the game of love, you never know when the engine will blow out, so it's always good to be prepared. In the relationship game, there is only one parachute and if you don't want to suffer from the psychological damage of a breakup, you have to make sure that you get that one parachute and jump first. Otherwise, you'll will crash and burn, and so will your self-esteem. This means that you have to go about ending the relationship instead of just drifting along and waiting for things to happen .
The problem with most men (including myself) is that even though they know that the relationship won't last, they will stick around when the sex is good. Men are perfectly content to let a sexual relationship run its course and not do anything until the girl or woman packs her bags and leaves. The stupid part is that the same men will then feel hurt when the relationship ends, even though they know that it will end because the relationship was built purely on lust and sex.
So the lesson you have to learn here and
the lesson you should apply to your relationships is that
you have to put an end to it. Ending your relationship
right now where it is may seem a little harsh but it will
save YOU a lot of problems and headaches in the future
(like a low self esteem problem or a shattered ego). If you
insist on waiting it out of finding out if there is still
hope, by all means go ahead. My last advice to you is that
when you do pop the question and she doesn't seem sure or
hesitates about whether or not to salvage the relationship
that means that time is up and ending a relationship is the
best thing you can do for yourself.