When a relationship turns sour and leads to a break up, it is equally hard on both parties whether you're the one ending a relationship or you're on the other end of the break up. It may even be one of the hardest things you have to do if you still have feelings for her, but you realize that it just isn't working out. In cases like these, it is a real challenge to think of a way to do it so that the both of you can come out of this relationship with your heart intact.
In this day and age where communication is easy with the internet and mobile phones and wireless connections, you have to keep in mind that the best way to ending a relationship is still to do it in person. Don't succumb and take the easy way out of breaking up by just sending her a text message or a lengthy email. It is ALWAYS better to talk to her face to face regarding the issue. When you do this, you're showing sincerity and integrity. You're also showing respect because having someone break up with you via text message is just plain embarrassing.
I'm not saying that it's easy to break up with someone and have to tell it to their faces but it's the best way to do it. Just make sure that you choose the right words to say. When you do this, she will be better able to understand why you are ending a relationship with her and perhaps the both of you can still be friends.
Another thing that you should consider doing is that before you break the bad news to your partner is to give her some kind of advance warning. Something along the lines of “we need to talk”. This allows her to prepare for what's coming and it often helps to soften the blow as well. Just make sure that after the warning has been delivered that you do break the news soon. Waiting too long to break up after you have delivered a warning can cause stress, tension and a whole lot of unnecessary discomfort.
Ending a relationship is really a very difficult thing to do. However, if you know exactly what to do and how to do it gracefully, you will be able to go through with it without feeling guilty. When you're breaking up with her, just make sure you get the message out as sincerely as you possibly can. And most importantly, leave no room for doubt. It's hard but if you've chosen to break up with her, just go through with it no matter how upset she seems to be and no matter how terrible it makes you feel.
When this happens, you have to stick to your decision and make sure that she gets the message. Give your ex whatever space she needs but whatever you do, do NOT give any kind of false hopes that you could be getting back together. This will just drag the break up and make it even more painful for the both of you. So be sure you know exactly what you're doing when you even think of ending a relationship. Some things cannot be reversed and breaking up is one of them.