Q: "Hey there. I'm just your average
guy. I think I'm pretty alright looking and I don't smell
or anything. But I seem to be having this huge problem trying
to get dates. Its like, I'll see a pretty girl at the pub
and I'll take forever to go over to ask her out. But by the
time I've done that some other dude has stolen my thunder!
And even when I finally meet her she doesn't seem interested
at all. A few of my friends have mentioned that I'm a little
shy and that I don't exude self confidence. Is that my problem?
How can I start building confidence with girls?"
A: "As
you yourself have pointed out, self confidence is
an important part of meeting up with women and getting dates.
You realize that girls are attracted to men who are confident
and its good that you recognize your shyness as a weakness.
Now you may think that people are born with confidence, but
in truth they are not. Confidence is either built, or faked.
Always remember that confidence is often more of an act than
actually reality. And don't worry, you too can get past your
shyness and learn how to build self confidence."
Building confidence with girls is not something
you learn overnight but it is a habit that you can cultivate
through practice. Like most other things, you don't get confident
immediately after learning how to do something. For example
driving, when you first started you were probably nervous
and you were more likely to wait longer at an intersection
than actually needed. Now that you're more familiar with driving
you have more confidence to beat the oncoming car when you
would previously wait.
It is the same for dating and women. You
have to slowly start building confidence with girls. The way
to do this is simple. Try building your self confidence by
walking up to a woman, any kind of women and talking to her.
Whether she is someone you'd date or an old granny at the
store. Just walk up to her and try to make some small talk
about anything that you can think about. Do this every single
day and the more you do it, the better you'll get at it. Slowly
start progressing to meeting and talking with women who are
more and more attractive.
This really helps build your confidence and soon you'll be confident enough to talk to some real lookers. But wait! Don't get ahead of yourself, take a breather and set up a date with a girl or woman who is less attractive. Your first time could even be your female friend. The point is to build your confidence up slowly. Remember that you must learn to walk before you can start running.
All this might sound incredibly simple and
stupid but it really isn't. This exercise will help you slowly
but surely build up your self confidence to start meeting
and chatting with any girl of your choice. Just remember to
take things one step at a time. I recommend that you start
off with a girl who don't make you nervous or insecure and
building your confidence with girls can only get better from
there.
If you are still nervous of the
prospect of chatting up to some random stranger then you can
even consider online dating. It is even easier to
start meeting women online because of the anonymity of the
internet. Once you feel comfortable with chatting with people
online and you've built enough confidence, move on to real
people. Remember to give yourself a reasonable curve and to
practice and you can and will build the self confidence to
approach any girl or woman that you meet!
