Q: " I am in love with my girlfriend and the relationship that we have. But recently I have felt a bit suffocated and I think we need a break from each other. I'm not saying that I want to break up with her but I'm thinking that a trial separation might help us rekindle the spark that was in our relationship. I need to some how let her know this without actually breaking up with her because I want another shot at this. How can I let her down gently without having her hate me? "
A:" If you are not use to a relationship you will definitely feel like breaking away from your girlfriend. However before you decide to break up, make sure you have decided clearly whether you are going to break up, or just break way from each other for a short while (like a separation). In the case of a trial separation there are definitely things you need to discuss with her before you can break away. Discussing these issues are extremely important because if either other you misinterpret the reason why you are breaking up for a short while, you will destroy any chance you have of reconciliation. "
The first thing you need to clear up would be just how long this break away from each other should be. Decide on an amount of time that will allow the both of you to sit and think through your relationship. Be sure to clarify with her that you will want to meet up with her again after this period is over to see how both of you feel and whether or not this relationship can move forward.
Before breaking up with one another you should also decide on whether or not you are allowed to contact each other. If you want zero contact from her, tell her now and lay down the rules. But for a short break away from each other, zero contact isn't a must and it might actually help to check up with each other every once in a while. Perhaps you can agree to calling each other and talking once a week to see how the other person is doing. This might actually work for the relationship as it will cause her to miss you and look forward to your calls.
And lastly the most important thing you need to clear up before your trial separation is, will you be allowed to date other people . Well depending on the reason why the two of you broke up, this might not be such a good idea. But if you decide that you want to have the option of seeing other people, make sure you can handle the sight of her with another guy as well.